Sincity du Inde
1989 - The Berlin wall fell. Hamburger eating Yankees celebrated, but they forgot an essential part of Soviet Union to dismantle.
KOLKATA !
I had become very comfortable with Mumbai, even though I was getting robbed of my money there. The thought of being 'sent' to Kolkata, sent shivers down my spine. I was going to the place which had the reputation of being slower than snails. The place where being fat is mandatory and 50 paise coins are used a lot. I was being sent back in time, to 1954. I had started imaging myself in black & white surroundings, riding hand pulled rickshaws, sleeping before 8 and eating rice for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, refreshments and cocktails !
People usually cheer you up with the weirdest bullshit when things happen to you. Like - "You'll have more holidays", "Girls are easy there", "It's your homeland". But the best bullshit I got to listen to is , you are being sent there as a "resource". Oh my god ! I am going to be a 'resource', for what ? Kolkata is known for being a town of very illicit resources. I will soon come to know of these on the only place I know in Kolkata - Park Street.
The day I came to Kolkata, I was exposed the horrors of walking down Park street alone and looking glum. There are shady looking Biharis who stand next to the Oxford Book Stores who offer you a look at their "brochures". Offering you delicacies from various parts of the country and abroad. And they even have sampling 'facility'. Believe it or not, it's shit scary for young guys in new cities. It is. No matter how 'harami' a person be. Its too much in your face.
Kolkata is the Paris of the East. It's also London. It's sometimes also Rio de Janiero, specially when Brazil is in the last 8. And most often it is either Czechoslovakia, Estonia or some other country where people are fighting for their rights. But Kolkata tries to do it in style, drinking tea in (so thought) expensive places, dancing in nightclubs with the hep names, admiring art and music like they never do in even Paris, and riding in taxis and 'underground' (bengalis call it 'paatal'). Kolkata is connected to the world. They celebrate political victories of parties of countries you have not heard of. They cry for Diana, laugh at Bush, worry about Katrina, not Kaif but the one in New Orleans, feel for the poor in Africa, and consider preventing AIDS as the need of the hour.
Bored already ? I haven't told you what I did in Kolkata. Well I did nothing. I bought a smart card for the Metro , topped it up with Rs. 500 and I rode back and forth from work for 5 months ! Use your calculators now. Yes it is true, stop rechecking again and again. Other than that I studied bengalis. Each and every one feels a deep connection with the English and intellectuals of great history. Almost everyone can speak about everything and necessarily it has to be in English. No wonder my Bengali is poor, I never got to hear the right kind of Bangla. I also tried to meet relatives of mine. For them me being in a private job is like failure in life. And when they hear that I went to IIM and not to Xavier's or Presidency, they ask forgiveness for me from God. The standards of quality and life are very different here. IIM doesn't mean IIM I, B , C or anything. It just means 'Joka' . My only accomplishment in life, my only trump card to get a girl, is all burnt down here. And it could have been worse if they got to know that I don't know Anjan Dutta (Bong rock guy) and never read Tagore or haven't had a tryst with any sort of classical music.
Kolkata is convenient though, everything is nearby, all kinds of 'services' are available readily. Drinks, cigars, cigarettes and fancy life is there for you to grab. Pubs and discs are open till 4 am . People who like modern forms of relationships have a relief here. Junkies and hippies available in plenty. No work culture. Easy living. Money is like waste, no one worries about it. Because no one gets to spend a lot of it here. And food to gorge. Whoever invented the 7 sins funda, finished too early. He / she should have visited Kolkata. Kolkata comes up with a new form of sin every year. The only problem is - it's Communist. So Kolkata can't profit from its Sins. I should stop cribbing now. I am Bengali after all. Kolkata has to rock. It does.
People usually cheer you up with the weirdest bullshit when things happen to you. Like - "You'll have more holidays", "Girls are easy there", "It's your homeland". But the best bullshit I got to listen to is , you are being sent there as a "resource". Oh my god ! I am going to be a 'resource', for what ? Kolkata is known for being a town of very illicit resources. I will soon come to know of these on the only place I know in Kolkata - Park Street.
The day I came to Kolkata, I was exposed the horrors of walking down Park street alone and looking glum. There are shady looking Biharis who stand next to the Oxford Book Stores who offer you a look at their "brochures". Offering you delicacies from various parts of the country and abroad. And they even have sampling 'facility'. Believe it or not, it's shit scary for young guys in new cities. It is. No matter how 'harami' a person be. Its too much in your face.
Kolkata is the Paris of the East. It's also London. It's sometimes also Rio de Janiero, specially when Brazil is in the last 8. And most often it is either Czechoslovakia, Estonia or some other country where people are fighting for their rights. But Kolkata tries to do it in style, drinking tea in (so thought) expensive places, dancing in nightclubs with the hep names, admiring art and music like they never do in even Paris, and riding in taxis and 'underground' (bengalis call it 'paatal'). Kolkata is connected to the world. They celebrate political victories of parties of countries you have not heard of. They cry for Diana, laugh at Bush, worry about Katrina, not Kaif but the one in New Orleans, feel for the poor in Africa, and consider preventing AIDS as the need of the hour.
Bored already ? I haven't told you what I did in Kolkata. Well I did nothing. I bought a smart card for the Metro , topped it up with Rs. 500 and I rode back and forth from work for 5 months ! Use your calculators now. Yes it is true, stop rechecking again and again. Other than that I studied bengalis. Each and every one feels a deep connection with the English and intellectuals of great history. Almost everyone can speak about everything and necessarily it has to be in English. No wonder my Bengali is poor, I never got to hear the right kind of Bangla. I also tried to meet relatives of mine. For them me being in a private job is like failure in life. And when they hear that I went to IIM and not to Xavier's or Presidency, they ask forgiveness for me from God. The standards of quality and life are very different here. IIM doesn't mean IIM I, B , C or anything. It just means 'Joka' . My only accomplishment in life, my only trump card to get a girl, is all burnt down here. And it could have been worse if they got to know that I don't know Anjan Dutta (Bong rock guy) and never read Tagore or haven't had a tryst with any sort of classical music.
Kolkata is convenient though, everything is nearby, all kinds of 'services' are available readily. Drinks, cigars, cigarettes and fancy life is there for you to grab. Pubs and discs are open till 4 am . People who like modern forms of relationships have a relief here. Junkies and hippies available in plenty. No work culture. Easy living. Money is like waste, no one worries about it. Because no one gets to spend a lot of it here. And food to gorge. Whoever invented the 7 sins funda, finished too early. He / she should have visited Kolkata. Kolkata comes up with a new form of sin every year. The only problem is - it's Communist. So Kolkata can't profit from its Sins. I should stop cribbing now. I am Bengali after all. Kolkata has to rock. It does.
loved reading it..
ReplyDeletei went to kolkata many moon ago..i did not like it then
but i guess it is time i visited again :)
NIce post buddy ... As always..
ReplyDeleteU mentioned about readily available facilities.. u pointing something specific ? :P
U r right abu Park Street I had terrible exp too...
Haha!
ReplyDeleteSo descriptive and captivating as usual!
Asian Paints sure is giving this writer on th block a lot of meat to write on!
:)
nice..the city grows on u.....
ReplyDelete