An IIM destitute

"With over 95 companies registering for the process, 367 offers were showered over 173 students. The average salary of accepted offers stood at INR 13.07 Lacs per annum. The mean domestic salary has increased by more than 20% as compared to that of the previous year. For a batch with more than half the participants with no prior work-experience, an average salary of accepted offers surpassing INR 13 Lacs per annum was a delight. The top 50 offers have an average of nearly INR 18 Lacs per annum with offers spanning diverse sectors and roles."

- IIM Indore Placement report 2008

The crazy thing about these placement reports is that they give you the kind of confidence that you feel like a prince. But I can tell you very very frankly you feel no more than pauper after the placements. I went on this splendid trip of the Uttaranchal that reduced my bank balance from 5 digits to 3 digits. I am home these days, in hiding, so that friends don't find me here, otherwise they will rightly want a treat. So I am not asking anyone out for a movie, or proposing a Sunday lunch.

My recruiter does not understand that life in B-School is different from life in the real world, here there is no mess-walah to give you credit. The internet is not free, the group does not pay for the petrol, call rates are not at discount, the gym has a membership fee and that I live in an expensive city. My chosen recruiter knows that I am not going anywhere, so they are taking their own sweet time to send me letter saying when and where to join. And I am waiting for my oh-so wonderful package to show it's capability, till then I can only draw solace from the Congratulations my dear friends give. And shamelessly and sadly have to defer their treat requests. Ouch !

Then I suddenly realise that I have a wedding and an engagement to attend back in Indore. And as you would rightly realise, Indian marriages are bigger than HP-Compaq mergers. They are amazingly overvalued. Simply put they cost huge money, even to simple guests like me. So my 5 week plan is " To improve my cash balance and develop short term monetary policy " . I need cash.

Thinking about my monetary conditions I cant really figure out how to resolve my working capital issues. I certainly cannot approach my parents for money, that would be really strange. I am supposed to be an independent person now, I can't go to mom and ask her money for candy. So I have to do some job now. But where can I find a job for an IIM graduate for one and half months where they let you go away for marriages in between that ? Well suggestions come in about joining call centers and McDonalds, but that is so out of question, even if get to hang out with cool call center chicks! I can't even talk to my mom or my girlfriend for 5mins on the phone, so forget about customer complaints about dysfunctional pressure cookers. Plus I will be kind of putting my alma-mater's brand to jeopardy. Ego issues, you see ! I find some cool data analysis jobs with Financial Companies but they want me to go all the way to Gurgaon for 3 months. So that's not possible. The only option left is my good ol' CAT coaching center. I guess they will value an IIM grad and a previous customer. Reality check : they have full faculty and IIM faculty is not really an added advantage ! Who says there are shortage of good teachers in this country? So they offer me a stint with their marketing division and want me to visit campuses. Mr. Ayush 'Finicky and Super-moralistic' Paul feels that it would not be right to eyewash young grads to join this coaching just because they are paying me money. Well that ends my enthusiastic and desperate attempt for doing a part-time job. And you thought an IIM graduate has no job worries? Well think again !

Some bright business ideas that came to mind were also shot down by experts from the peer group. Ideas like "Babysitting by an MBA - Ensure your childs prosperity, NOW!" or "Gyaan guru - your cost effective alternative to Baba Ramdev" and even "Develop a business plan with the help of IIM grad". This country does not promote creative talent.

My poor and greedy eyes set on my lovely and trustworthy car. My love for 5 years, my Maruti 800. I have to liquidate my assets to solve my cash problems. Besides 3 cars for 3 people, of which only 1 goes to office is so lavish. The car has to go. I would have to sadly part with it. So I search for the next owner of my 7618. More than the selling price I am worried about the person who is going to buy it. I want it to land in good hands, someone who can care for it as I did, actually someone more than me. And when I tell this to my friends, they go like "how can you do this...we shared a good time with that car....you are selling your soul, you prostitute...aww, that's worse than a breakup man" I mean come on, one has to move on. I can't take that car wherever I go, although it has done so to me.

Never in my life did I feel so much worried about money like I feel now, ironically when I have secured a job I like. Gone are the rosy days when I could steal a one rupee coin from mom's dressing table to buy bubblegum. I can no more afford to be oblivious to monthly budgets, aate-dal ka bhav, month ends and inflation. For the first time I realize what the real worth of each single rupee is. Amazingly the learning didn't stop even after I got my MBA and I was sitting idle and bored................but why did it have to be in this beggar like way ??!!?!!??